Bright Yellow Circles

I recently received an email on my iPhone, liberally sprinkled with emoticons. Those emotional icons, also known as emojis and most characteristically represented by smiley faces, convey a depth of feeling not possible in most direct email-prose. The person sending the email had been struggling with a number of issues, and she wanted to share not only her welcome news but also the joy that accompanied it. Not surprisingly, when I opened the same email in Outlook, the smiley faces had all become question marks. So much for compatibility.
     There is an uncomfortable truth here, however. Behind the momentary joy expressed in bright yellow circles lies a thoughtful and deeply spiritual person – a person for whom many questions remain unanswered. Life is both kind and cruel, fair and unfair, rewarding and demanding. I would be much happier without the uncertainties of life, as would she, but I suspect that I would be a much poorer pastor. All of the nagging question marks of life, the unsettling, unanswered “whys?” connect us. They signal our shared humanity, but they may also divide us.
     The fault line lies along the path of acceptance. The Psychoanalyst, Erik Erikson, noted that the chief virtue of old age is wisdom. Individuals struggle to come to terms with what their lives have meant. Am I satisfied or dissatisfied with what I have accomplished, and equally as importantly, with what I have not accomplished? The answer to that question is critical. No one who despairs over the past can ever truly connect with others. It is only the man or woman who has faced and accepted life as it is lived in the real world that is finally wise.
     The Preacher ends his book of wisdom, Ecclesiastes: “The end of the matter, all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for that is the whole duty of everyone” (Eccl. 12:13, NRSV). This is no idle advice. The Preacher wants us to understand the criteria by which life is to be judged. Judged not only by God, but also by ourselves. This is what it means to be finally wise: to place things in their proper place, with their proper importance. Faith does not require of us that we have all understanding, does not demand great knowledge, does not expect perfection. To the contrary, faith meets us afresh, everyday, with our fears and doubts, and calls us to trust. To trust the God who did not come to judge the world but to save it.
     Such a faith is indeed lived in bright yellow circles. Some with smiles, some with frowns, some with winks, and some just plain perplexed. But underneath the circles, as long as we are in this body, there will be question marks. Those who have eyes to see can behold God in both.